and the Single Mom
by Teri Worten
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and the Single Mom
Even in today's
sophisticated society, single parent families are often stigmatized
and thoughtlessly perceived as not entirely as functional as two
parent families. Most single moms can verify how such of a stigma
seems to linger over our heads like some dark, ominous cloud. For
instance, men assume because we have children, we are desperate
for husbands, schools believe us to be operating with a disability
and very few churches have created ministries exclusively for us.
I could go on.
By some, our
families are viewed as abnormal, incomplete or fragmented. Our homes
are called "broken" and are indirectly associated with
producing defective or maladjusted children. The sad reality is
that the majority of the people who raise these criticisms have
had limited exposure with successful single parent families and
are narrowly interpreting "so called" research written
by people who know little about us or the "human" side
of our families. Allow me to be among the first to tell you that
contrary to popular opinion, most single moms succeed wonderfully
at raising healthy, happy well-adjusted children. In numerous categories,
our family types outshine our two parent counterparts.
By no means
am I glamorizing single parenting as an ideal family situation.
Two-parent families do create a continuum of support invaluable
to healthy youth development.
the story doesn't end there.
however, do possess some specific, undeniable strengths that effectually
enable us raise healthy, well-developed children. Our one-parent
families tend to create a less troublesome environment than that
of some of our two-parent families. For example, parents in a distressed
two-parent family are often overwhelmed with maintaining a healthy
marriage and can easily overlook the emotional and developmental
needs of their children. Likewise, two parents in emotional duress
inadvertently model an unhealthy, undesired model of family life
in plain view their children. Growing up in such an atmosphere can
influence harmful patterns and cycles of broken relationships throughout
On the other
hand, single parent families don't fall victim to such pitfalls.
Ideally, we can engineer stability and emotional wellness within
ourselves without the added worries connected with or caring for
a spouse. In short, all we have to worry about is ourselves! Within
our homes, our children see no arguing or witness power struggles
between the two authority figures.
As a result,
many single parent homes are better equipped to provide a relaxed,
fun home atmosphere for children to grow, develop and thrive. It
has been stated that children of healthy single parents frequently
acquire competencies and valuable life skills that prepare them
to be productive, independent adults. Also, if functioning well
our families tend to be to be closer and cooperative with one another.
our family structure does have its fair share of challenges, but
none of them are fatal. Yes, ideally a child should have two healthy,
well-balanced parents but it doesn't always work out that way. So
we must accentuate the positive and go on to excel as mothers, flourish
as women, and produce healthy young people despite being single
and despite the prejudices against our family types. So, hold your
head high and embrace who you are and where you are during this
"single parent" season in your life.
Worten is a freelance writer as well as the founder of the online
contemporary magazine for single moms and all women - Gotta Be Me
Girl.Com! You can visit her site and read more articles at www.gottabemegirl.com.
Or you can contact her at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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