To Get To The Heart Of Your Loved One
by Caroline Therancy
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To Get To The Heart Of Your Loved One
The other day,
I was home with my sweet love when my sister called. She was in
a bad mood because she was babysitting my cat (I was out of town)
and my cat had made a mess in her sofa. I was sorry that happened.
I went in the bedroom to think it over in silence.
After a while,
my sweet love joined me and the first thing he said was:
see this situation seems to bother you, isn 't it?"
In that moment,
I thought he was the greatest boyfriend ever. I felt understood
and comforted. I was in a better disposition to be the best partner
that I could be for him. Then I realized that he was talking the
same language of love as mine. I am a Visual and I understand better
when we communicate with me in visual ways. He used the words "see"
and "seems". I am certain that the Auditory and Feeling
people out there don 't really get it but, Visuals out there might
better understand how I must have felt.
Having the same
communication style or using the communication style that your partner
is using greatly avoids missed connections, unnecessary challenges
and increase intimacy by reducing the events of resentment. Passion
starts to fade away when there is build up resentments. Communicating
the right way is one of the tools to keep lasting romance.
There are 3
types of Love Language; according to the author, Tracy Cabot (How
to make a man fall in love with you), you have the Visual, the Auditory
and the Feeling style. We use all of those 3 ways to communication
but one is predominant.
How can we identify
enthusiasm or stress similar to those comments: Don t you SEE
how this is amazing?! "or" You'll SEE. You'll love it
"or" "You don't LOOK in a great shape today".
An Auditory will say "This SOUNDS good" when a Feeling
will say "This FEELS good. I have the IMPRESSION that will
work "or" I know how you FEEL "or" "I understand
it's the look that counts. They usually are well dressed. They take
care of their appearance. They relax in a beautiful, well harmonized
environment. Things have to be in order around them. They look for
partners who take care of their looks too. When visual think, their
eyes look up in the air because they are "visualizing"
what they will say or the situation in their mind. They will tell
you "how things looked". They don't talk about their feelings
early in the relationship because they need to "see" where
the relationship is leading first. They like to watch television,
read, arts, landscaping, etc & anything that stimulates their
are very sensitive the sounds around them. They always have music
at home or in their car. They talk a lot because they like to "hear"
themselves talk. They are easily distracted by noise. They adore
being talked softly in the ear. The quality of the voice of their
partner can be a true turn on or a definitive turn off. An Auditory
will look on the side when they think because they have to hear
the voice in their head. Auditory will tell you "how things
sounds". Auditory will have the latest stereo system in town,
they prefer going to concerts, they like to talk on the phone and
they have a special talent for music.
A Feeling person
reacts on intuitions and their guts. They are willing to sacrifice
elegance for comfort (no high heels for women and tight collar shirt
for men). They want to feel great at all times and in every situation.
They look for partners who are great at sharing feelings. They are
perceived as people with a great heart. Women are easily seduced
by Feeling Men because they have the ability to express their sensitive
side and are great listeners, so common to women's needs.
like to touch, to kiss and they greatly need a constant physical
expression from their partner. Feeling people look down when they
think because they need to get the "impression". Feeling
people will tell you "how things felt". They like to relax
lye in the sun, work out, massage, drink, and dance, and eat great
foods. They will most likely do risky activities because of the
rush of extreme sensations. They are looking for trills.
If you are with
a partner that has the same communication style as yours, enjoy
yourselves. If you have two different communication styles, don't
conclude that you are not made for one another and it's maybe time
to see a counselor (a therapist or & a lawyer!). This article
will give you more tools to help communication at the maximum and
get a deeper connection with your mate or future mate.
How can we capture
the heart of a Visual, an Auditory or a Feeling person?
you need to use visual terms; from my "perspective", I
can "see" what you mean, the more I "look" into
this, the more it "seems" nice, I "observed"
how wonderful you are with kids, etc &...
to be stimulated with what they see; always have a neat house, with
harmonized colors, be dressed elegantly in every situation (wearing
jeans can be elegant with a nice matching color and style top).
Be sexy. For lovemaking, always have a little light, or candle,
because it turns them on to see their partner enjoying sex. Look
in the eyes show them that you care for them and you are attentive.
Visuals like to make scenarios.
don't rush in the lovemaking because they need to admire first.
They need to "see" it. Also, they don't communicate in
words their feelings. They show them instead. Be sensitive to their
generosity. Don't share your feelings too early in the relationship.
Show them instead how you feel and how you are. They'll get the
be worried about the noise in the house. Quietness and great music
atmosphere sure gets them to come around often. Use a soft voice
when speaking to them even when you are fighting. You will need
to speak in sound language; your voice "turns" me on,
that has a negative "ring", tell me, what do you think?
I'm "listening", this sounds "wonderful", the
"rhythm" is perfect, etc.. Think verbal reassurance. Looking
in the eye won't have the same effect. Auditory often ask if you
love them. For lovemaking, use a sensual sweet "radio voice"
in their ear.
you feel during the heat of the passion. Sounds of lovemaking will
have a powerful effect on them. They usually don't notice the new
dress or new haircut that you just had, but they will gladly listen
on how you got that new dress or new haircut, as long as they are
in an environment that allows listening. They are really interested
in who you are. Not on how you look. They are the best listeners.
With a Feeling
person, use feelings word; that "feels" good, I'd hate
to "disappoint you", I don't really "connect"
with that person, I can't wait to "touch" you, I "feel"
that we are going somewhere, let me give you a "massage",
etc...They can be perceived a passionate people because they express
their feelings so much. They need to know how you feel, very early
in the relationship. They expect to be touched by their partner
a lot and they do the same.
They often complain
about insensitivity of their partners. Play with their hair while
you talk to them, in the car, while you are driving, keep one hand
on the leg, take walks and hold hands, wear satin underwear, make
hot bath, etc...Feeling people can make lovemaking in any situation
because they need the touch only. They are not necessarily the neat
one or the most elegant either, but they will truly appreciate the
of the dominant type of you and your partner's. Practice the appropriate
communication style until it becomes natural. Reducing challenges
in a relationship increases the chances of lasting romance. Now,
you have a way to capture the heart of anyone that you want, if
you are single, and you can re-ignite the fire if you are in an
unsatisfying relationship and get what you and your partner wants,
because the connection will be deeper. I am a strong believer of
''say anything that you want'' to your partner. But, there are ways
of saying things. You just learned on how to make yourself heard
and understood properly and receive your partner's needs and caring
You'll see the difference ;-)
is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance
because she is reading a lot on the subject. She is presently in
a fulfilling relationship and she is gladly sharing her knowledge
To continue receiving tips on how to get the love life that you
want, you can subscribe free to her newsletter at www.everydaybetterliving.com
or email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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