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Simple
Facts About Falling In Love
by Dr.
Brenda Shoshanna
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Simple
Facts About Falling In Love
We are meant
to live a life of love. However, no matter how successful some
are in other aspects of their lives, they don't feel it's realistic
to have the same success in love.
But being
in love is the most realistic thing you can do. It energizes
your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and
makes every moment beautiful. The body heals the heart is happy.
The real question is, why aren't we in love all the time? What
keeps it away?
The following
steps will show you how easy it is to open your eyes and find
love wherever you go.
1) THE
ONE RIGHT BESIDES YOU
Most of
the time we are searching for the right person and don't take
a moment to stop and see who is right in front of our eyes.
-
Look
at a person who is close to you right now, anyone it happens
to be.
-
Notice
the ways in which you push him away. Stop doing that.
-
Allow
the two of you to be together in whatever way you are.
-
Do
the same thing tomorrow with someone else.
We dismiss
so many people who are in our worlds, while waiting for the
"right one" to appear. The more we can be "right"
with everyone, the sooner we'll find just what we're looking
for.
2) PLAYING
AT LOVE
So many
complain that they are not loved. The reason for this is they
are so busy playing games their partner never knows who they
really are.
-
Notice
what games you play in relationships, and what games you demand
others play. See if you are in love with the person, or with
the game you are both playing right now.
-
Become
aware of the difference between who you are and the games
you play. Let the games and be who you are. Who you are is
always loveable. Itâ€s the games that get in the way.
3) LETTING
HIM COME AND LETTING HIM GO
-
One
obstacle to falling in love is the tendency to hold on to
what is wrong. We grasp and cling to whatever we have, preventing
the right one from coming to us.
-
When
someone comes into your life (or day) practice letting him
come.
-
Enjoy
him/her for whoever he is.
-
When
it is time for a person to go, practice letting him go. Do
not turn this into an experience of rejection or loss. It
is simply time for him to go.
-
Do
this with yourself as well. Let yourself come and go freely,
not tying yourself in chains. The more we free others and
ourselves, the more easily we fall in love.
4) PUTTING
YOUR BAGGAGE DOWN
Many feel
that love is not possible unless all their demands are met.
They can be quite amazed to discover that these demands don't
lead to happiness. They may even be obstacles to falling in
love.
-
Take
a look at what you feel is absolutely necessary in relationships.
Realize this is baggage you are carrying that may be keeping
all kinds of people and possibilities away.
-
Let
one of these demands subside. At first let it go for just
one day. (Remember you can always take it back again). Now
try another day. The more you do this the more lighter and
happier you will feel. And the more space you will make for
all kinds of new people, possibilities and situations to come
your way.
-
What
gifts do you give others in relationships? And what do you
hope to receive in return? It's important to give openly as
well as to receive.
-
Find
something new you can give to somebody. Give it. Do this everyday.
It does not have to be fancy or expensive. Do this with all
kinds of different people. Do it quietly without fanfare and
without expecting something in return.
-
Do
this with yourself as well. Each day take a moment to find
out what kind of gift you would like today. (A walk in the
park, new lipstick, time with someone you care for.) Give
this to yourself each day. Although this exercise is simple,
it is extremely powerful. Doing this daily in your relationship
can turn everything around. By living with this open, generous
mind, all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally.
6) MAKING
FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF
Many say
they are lonely, even with a partner at their side. This is
simply because they have not yet made friends with themselves.
Once they make friends with themselves and are able to be who
they are, loneliness disappears.
Make friends
with yourself. Spend time noticing who you are. Accept all parts
of yourself. Stop judging and rejecting what is going on inside.
Understand you are perfect just as you are. Then choose to do
the same in relationships. Choose to have relationships with
those who want and appreciate just what you are.
About The
Author
Brenda
Shoshanna, Ph.D., psychologist,workshop leader and author is a long
term Zen practitioner whose work integrates Zen and everyday life.
This article is based upon her most recent book, Living By Zen (Timeless
Truths For Everyday Life) http://www.livingbyzen.com.
Take a minute to go to the site to find out more about the book.
Dr. Shoshanna, the relationship expert on i.village is also the
author of Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster),
Zen Miracles, (Finding Peace In An Insane World) and many other
books.
She
can be reached at topspeaker@yahoo.com
Her personal website is http://www.brendashoshanna.com
Article
Source: EzineArticles.com
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