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Getting
An Exciting Life After A Break Up
by Caroline Therancy
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Getting
An Exciting Life After A Break Up
Breaking
up.
The End. The
journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don’t want to
go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling
of failure.
Suddenly, all
the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you.
You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring
the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t feel like talking
to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved
with someone again, half believing it.
Life is much
more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only
person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last
breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be
less painful.
Breaking up,
I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It’s
like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s
painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn’t
need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through
this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely
need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together.
Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to
mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your
break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t
keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the
frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.
Write a letter
You need to
let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made
you angry, sad, etc– You don’t necessarily need to send it to your
previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process
for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere
to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over.
You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.
Make new
friends.
You need to
socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading
clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc– ask questions, make conversations,
and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep
in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that.
Don’t jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings
of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments.
You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions
to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the
chances of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself.
Take naps in
the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring
texts that will give you strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup
for Soul”).
Go jogging.
Do some Yoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with
the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help
put your soul to calm.
Stay away
from unsupportive people
Neutralized
your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends.
I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a
little bit –. “clumsy” in the way they express their caring for
you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t go from people
to people like that! You are getting old, you know?” or “ There
are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate that one).
Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands
and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this
about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals the heart,
but also all the warmth and love around us.”
Get a Pet
When I broke
up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested
so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted.
A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or
girlfriend can give, but, it’s all part of the process of having
a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that
added value in your life.
Find at least
3 Passions
You will need
to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your
heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions.
Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try other sports, and
try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new
thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will
feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a
future mate.
One of my friends
was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton
club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her.
In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But
she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The
third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and
it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they share,
among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to have fun
together and to be together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read
right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need
to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people
from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you
go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply emotionally
involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple.
Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds,
friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband
and wife yet, you won’t be threatening.
Get to the
stage of feeling great being single
Take the time
to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way
to find true love because if you are having a great life alone,
you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the
person that is really worth it.
Be and Feel
Successful
And if you are
out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this
opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children,
if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire
your strength and more opportunities will occur.
If you were
to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it
not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given
time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and
strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing
loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take
this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a
winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even
more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship,
with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important
thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that
life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you
great success in finding happiness again.
©
Caroline Therancy
About The
Author
Who
is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance
because she is reading a lot on the subject. She is presently in
a fulfilling relationship and she is gladly sharing her knowledge
and experience.
To continue receiving tips on how to get the love life that you
want, you can subscribe free to her newsletter at www.everydaybetterliving.com,
or you can contact her at: info@everydaybetterliving.com
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